40 years.

This afternoon we spent some time traveling to a village that is about an hour away. It was like any other time we go out to visit...I was excited to get back into the routine of visiting with people after we had been away for a few days. We sat and talked, ate bread and drank tea like normal and then all of the ladies went for a walk out in the fields. It was later in the afternoon so it wasn't terribly hot and it was gorgeous as we were walking. It really looked like something from a movie. We got to a flat part next to the river that was just rocks and dirt for miles. The girls were playing with the frogs in the pond and the rest of us had fun trying to skip rocks. I tried because I am not very good...everyone else was pro at it!

After a while I started walking off by myself and of course started thinking. Anybody who has been talking to me recently knows I've been thinking about what I'm going to do in the fall. I am really trying to figure out where my heart is...and not just look for a job just to have one. I really want to be where the Father wants me and I feel like the desires that I have are coming from him...I am just trying to figure out what they look like. I started thinking about the Israelites and their time in the desert...wandering in the desert for 40 YEARS. I cannot imagine. I started thinking what it must have been like...day after day to do the same thing...not knowing what even the next hour would hold. But just following the Lord.

In Exodus 16:16...it tells the story of the Father sending down Manna from Heaven. I was reading this passage earlier this week and was reminded of it today along with my other thoughts. Would I have been one of the people who gathered more just to be safe? Or would I have really believed and put my hope in the fact that God was taking care of me..and all I needed to worry about was the day that I was in at that moment? It really made me wonder and I know that I would have wanted to be safe...I would have wanted to make sure that there was enough to last just in case something went wrong the next day. But we do not serve a God of "just in case". I want to be thankful for what I have been given THIS DAY...not worrying about tomorrow, but really trusting that it is already taken care of. That is my prayer...I hope that we all learn to live that way...out of the fear and stress..and away from the "what ifs."

That is what I want to be doing. I have no idea what my future holds...I don't even know what tomorrow holds. But I do know that all I can do is continue to put one foot in front of the other and TRUST that He is leading me. At times when I feel like I am so lost..that is when I cling to Him and His hand.

I am sure this sounds repetitive of things I have said before but it continues to be made real to me...in places and at times when I am not expecting it. It scares me to not have plans...I am a planner. But what a sweet time of truly trusting and knowing that one day I will be able to look back and acknowledge the fact that He never left me..and He has already gone before me.