Tuesday, February 21, 2012

it's been a while..

i haven't written on this thing in forever it feels like! it was a weird feeling to open it back up...brings back memories of when i would be blogging ALL the time.

oh how life has changed in a year.

Jesus has done some seriously great things but these past few months have been hard. i am so thankful to have a job that i have always wanted, blessed to have lots of things that i don't deserve and it makes me happy to know i am surrounded by some pretty great people. but growing up doesn't look the way i thought.

i feel like i can't get a grip on life right now. there are so many things that need to be done throughout the week and that i want to do but it just doesn't seem like there is enough time. i can't put my finger on what the Lord is doing in my life...which isn't necessarily a bad thing but i wish i had more time to investigate it. I try really hard to think about things i could eliminate or if there is an area that i am wasting time but i really can't figure it out. my days seem so full and at the end of the day i am exhausted. i feel like at this point i just need more discipline to do the things that really are important to me. i've spent the last few nights tossing and turning, feeling like my mind is going 100 miles a minute and i am already thinking about all that needs to be done for the next day. what i wouldn't give just to be still. i really miss the intimacy and stillness i had in morocco.

having my first big girl job has been a shock. nothing at all like i thought it would be. i am growing and learning though and even though this time right now is confusing...i couldn't ask for more than i have been given...i want to remember that when i feel like giving up.

..this may seem like rambling but i promise i was trying to make my thoughts make sense. i don't even know if they make much sense in my head yet :)